Today “Feels” Pink and Circular?

As classes progressed, I found my paintings didn’t lie. What I could not communicate in words, what was frustrating, or unsafe to say or think was showing up on my canvas. Personal dreams and aspirations also began to show through. Colors, textures and shapes began to surface and tell my story. This was a fascinating process, very intuitive. Even now, I can’t explain why the word “calm” feels violet with soft wavy lines and “safe” feels pink and circular. Last week “painful” felt yellow and green with sharp, hard edges. Putting paint down on piece of paper was becoming deeply personal. I was using a new language to communicate, colors and shapes became my vocabulary. This wasn’t always comfortable or enjoyable, in fact I felt pretty vulnerable at first.

One very significant moment for me was when Laurie asked us to pick any two colors to express how we receive or experience love. My hesitant hands, blank canvass and long reflective pause spoke volumes. That was a painful but profound moment. It caught me off guard. I was challenged to consider emotions that had been carefully and purposely buried. Over the next few weeks I gave myself permission to revisit that class assignment while at home. I filled many pages in my art journal, until there was nothing else more to say, or paint. It was healing. As the weeks progressed, I experienced more and more freedom. Thankfully healing is the continuous process of forgiveness and growth..... and love is it’s inevitable fruit.